Old Friends

I was thinking about some pals of mine back in Halifax. John was and is one of those tragic lives lived, Myself and he and his brother have been friends since grade 3 i beleive. We connected on the common ground of poverty, and the fact that none of our fathers had ever bothered to show up for our lives. I remember John and I at 12 years old shouting "we are bastards and f'in proud of it!" as if The world should take notice of the two young men with no father and limitless potenital. They were tough, John and Sam, i suspect John did his part as the older sibling to see to it that Sam was tough, likely much to Sam's chagrin. That was never why we were friends though, as i was never strong like that, i always hated fighting, and was too awkward to defend myself, so more often then not John would step up and defend me, looking back i think he enjoyed that, it made him noble in a way. Both of our families had nothing, and we went to the "poor kids school" but it suited us, there was no class distinction there, most of us were in the same boat anyway. By the time Junior high school came around John was different, he was concentrating on being popular and didn't hang out as much with me anymore. I hadn't discovered the whole popularity thing yet so i was pretty much a loser. But I never recall Sam being the same way, He was always about people, he loves interacting with others, even now he's in his element at a party or anywhere with new people. That was a talent that both of them had, a sharpness for dealing with others, an ability to deal, business-wise. Things kind of gravitated into two separate groups after awhile, so until i moved away, i spent half the time hanging with Sam and his crew "the south end posse"(blame that name on the prevalent rap culture of the time) and John and the gang who lived in westmount plus a few people from school. I don't recall spending more time with one or the other, but memory clouds this stuff, and i'm sure Sam could tell you that i turned snob at some point too, but i prefer to recall being a loyal friend.(and not at all a loser) Those days i recall with a fondness, a dusting of myth and memory,like some old novel or story, where the ending is always happy. Eventually I moved away (long story in and of itself) and only talked to the guys once or twice a year for awhile. I managed to develop a new life in the country, made friends. John had a car accident and suffered brain damage that affected his memory and he's spent his time since in a care home. One of my biggest guilts is not visiting him at least once a year, but it's just hard in a way, to see him as a new person, as someone who can't develop like he deserved to, like he inevitably would have. I guess that's my hang up, and i probably should smarten up. We all started life with a future, and it hasn't been exactly like we thought it would, while John has been living his life, Sam and myself have spent years since high school existing. Sam is working towards his degree now, and i'm still lost as to what to do with my life. WHo knows what the future holds. I see ol' sam doing something with people, in a business setting, with his talents the guy could be a millionaire. John could've been something for sure, i recall anything he was passionate about he was tops at. When he was into skateboarding he was very good at it, when he was into R/C cars he could fix anything on them, what he did he did 110%. I don't want to say he was perfect but he had talent. I guess what i'm saying is that it's a shame to see things change like that.

The future of the nation

I think i've got this whole thing figured out, here we are wasting our time and tax dollars electing the same prime minister every election (albeit in a different body each time, but i think you know what i mean) why not try something different; Instead of the election, we can ford the job out as a return to work initiative through welfare. That way we're putting someone who doesnt want to work, into a job where they really don't have to. Or even through Unemployment...This could really work, think about it no more elections canada, every four years the PM gets laid off (top stamps of course) and another fish is drawn from the pool to lead the nation into the future. No worries about what jackass is going to get in, what their agenda is, and what lies they're telling us. That's just the tip of the iceberg, hell most of the politicians are lawyers anyway, they've got options for jobs, let them go and fill the parliament with out of work miners, carpenters, and fishermen. Might be interesting to see what would happen when someone who knows what it's like to go without is running the country.

Two Tiered health care..and the rich can live longer too?

I see it in the future, this whole health care "tiered" deal. Where once again, the rich are afforded whatever they wish, and the poor are afforded bare minimum. Someone said to me the other day "In the states, everyone pays their own way, you'll at least still have health care" Fair enough. Still it vexes me greatly to consider that a rich man, no matter what his quality, can live a long healthy life because of his money, when the poor man, dies of cancer on his 45th birthday because he doesnt have access to the same quality care as the wealthy man. Come to think of it, when was the last time you ever really heard of a rich person dying of anything but an accident or old age? What is that? I guess i can't blame the Prime minister, every PM for the entireity of our beloved homeland's history has come from wealth and comfort (please correct me of i'm wrong), I suspect the same is true for our neighbours to the south. So how is it that those of us who arent wealthy (by far the friggin' majority) expect to be acurately represented? By Rockefeller or Trump, or Gates? These names while they obviously are intelligent,( you can't get rich without some brains, and work ethic) Can't look at the country from the persepctive of those who HAVE to work to pay their bills, eat, and go to the doctor. I cannot vote for another Wealthy PM, is there a blue collar person out there with the right stuff? I hope so, cause otherwise don't count on me at the polls.

...Or get off the pot..

One of the reasons i started doing all this was to see what i had inside my head, often times little, but somewhere i felt there was a spark. Your parents always tell you you can be anything you want to be, no doubt that line of shit has been spoonfed for generations. Aside from the fact that im aware that i in fact "c'na be ever'tin" and accept that, I want to be something. And since i've always written i thought i might try working towards that end, make a really serious hobby out of it (unless it pays the bills) so I went out and bought this years canadian writers market, a mini tape recorder, and dug out a ream of fine printer paper. Nothing! I have no real ideas, i'm drawing a blank, i'm not flowing or feeling anything. I always seemed to write my best when i'm emotional or amplified in some way, hapiness doesnt inspire me to artisitc triumph, more that it inspires me to relax and not worry about anything. When i was a teen and fraught with girl troubles and being grounded, getting good grades (that's a lie, i just wanted to pass) that's when i was a torrential shit storm of ideas about love, life, and all the great muses of time. Not now, i have a good life, a great wife, and everything i need to survive. It's a blues man's nightmare, nothing to be sad about....